Sunday, September 26, 2010

The Test of Time... and Hunger...

During crew break on a recent flight... I dreamed I was in an underground tunnel... impatiently walking through clusters of dazed and confused individuals stumbling around in the dark. It seemed as if I was the only one who knew where we were and what was going on, and that the objective was to move forward toward the light at the end of the tunnel!

I was terribly frustrated with all the people who kept walking into the sides of the walls and falling down instead of moving forward which was the only obvious way out... After repeatedly stepping over and around all the human obstacles on my course, I finally got ahead of everyone and was speed walking with an attitude (I admit!) when suddenly a bright spotlight came on and stopped me in my tracks.

I was suddenly in the middle of a high tech laboratory... trapped in a Star Trek-like magnetic field and seemingly on the verge of being “beamed up...” Then I heard a woman’s, soft, automated voice say: “And now you will feel the effects of hunger...” I felt sick to my stomach with fear even before the experiment began and quickly murmured,“God help me...” Then I heard a machine start up and I knew it was a time machine on fast forward... set to quickly administer the prescribed dose of hunger... Almost instantly I felt faint... then a vacuum like sucking in my stomach... before I literally felt my stomach turning inside out... then I woke up. With tears in my eyes and an ache not in my stomach but in my heart over the clear message of this dream...

...that I am indeed going through a season of extreme testing... and “the path” I am on feels at times as dark and confining as an underground tunnel... and there are many others with me in this season of testing, but sadly, many are lost and without direction... In my dream and in real life I do know the way and am clearly walking with a purpose-- intensely reconfirmed in this dream-- to feed the hungry and feel their hunger... in order to serve passionately and compassionately... and that if I am obedient to the calling and live out my purpose... I will surely pass the test, complete the course and reach the light eternal... into which the faithful shall surely be “beamed up” at the end of days...

Sunday, April 11, 2010

Something About Mary...


I have never been much of a Marian Catholic, but this Lenten Season I went through such a personal crisis that I very willingly turned to the Blessed Mother for intercession. I decided for the first time in my life to pray a Novena– nine consecutive days of praying the rosary-- for the last nine days of Lent ending on Easter eve. For over a year, I had been praying about someone in my life who had become to me the heaviest cross my heart has ever carried... tormenting me like 'a thorn in my side' as one spiritual friend put it...

So the last nine days of Lent I prayed the rosary... in both English and Spanish– since both are native to the person for whom I was praying. On the last day of the Novena, the day before Easter, I was driving in my car when I suddenly remembered the old adage, “You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make him drink.” I shook my head in disappointment at the 'hard to swallow' truth in that proverb... and turned my thoughts to something else...

That night, having prayed the final rosary in the Novena, I fell asleep...

I dreamed I was standing at the edge of a forest, in a clearing by the water... A woman was standing next to me, and we were both watching a man on a black horse stopped a short distance from the water... Suddenly the horse went crazy, kicking his front legs up in the air nearly throwing the rider off... Strangely, there was no sound from the rider who neither cried out nor made any attempt to command the beast throwing him around... The woman turned sadly to me and said, “He is not yet ready to receive the news...”

When I woke up I knew immediately it was Mary herself who had appeared in my dream to deliver the final answer to my prayers... and to confirm what had fallen into my Spirit the day before... You can lead a horse to water... even through the dark thicket of the forest in my dream and in real life... but if the rider has no control over the beast who carries him, he will never reach the spring of living water or, the Good ‘News’ as the Blessed Mother said...

As final confirmation, I had also been praying for some time for the ‘soul tie’ to be broken with this person... Today, as I was on my knees in prayer, the elastic band holding my hair back suddenly snapped, and my hair was loosed... falling free from the ‘ponytail’ it had been tied up in...

With a lump in my throat, this truth was hard to swallow, but the beautiful mystery is... Mary delivers. +++

Friday, March 19, 2010

God's Wonders...


Among the many wonders of God is Stevie Wonder...who made a very special guest appearance in my dream last night. In my dream, I saw him standing on stage in a live performance... At the end of his performance he took off his sunglasses, looked up to the sky and opened his eyes wide for all to see... Then I woke up.

The first interpretation came quickly to me... that the blind see more clearly than some of us with seeing eyes... I later realized, however, that there was more to it... This was a message of blind faith... and keeping that blind faith while in total darkness... and holding onto that blind faith throughout our 'live' performance on the stage of the world... and at the end of our performance, if we have kept that blind faith, the blinders will be removed... and we shall look to the heavens and behold through wide and wondrous eyes, the one, true God of Wonders...

Saturday, February 6, 2010

LIFE mismeasured...


In light of this weekend’s Superbowl ad featuring Tim Tebow promoting life and his mother’s ultimate choice to thankfully give him life, my dream last night seems less than coincidental in its timing...

I dreamed I saw some assembly line, factory like work taking place in a basement setting... where little balloons were being filled from the taps of huge vats and tossed into massive containers... When I looked closer, I saw the little balloons each had writing on them, and I saw very clearly one of them up close which read “½ infant.” The two men I saw filling, tying and tossing the balloons were completely disengaged from what they were doing. One was engrossed in a meaningless book while the other was joking around talking worthless nonsense. Then I woke up... with a heavy heart as I understood this dream... of '1/2 infants' being discarded in mass graves by a generation completely disconnected from the value and meaning of life. I then fell back asleep and saw a tall, handsome, black man wearing clothing so small his shirt sleeves and pant legs were at 3/4 length on him... When I woke up, I knew it somehow followed on the shirttails of Tim Tebow symbolizing another great man (see below) who could have been tossed in the 3/4 size container but instead was given life and a big, beautiful dose of it... Finally, I fell asleep and saw some very grave words about the consequences of our 'choice' as a nation... When I woke up this time, I couldn't help wondering if the tall, handsome, black man in the undersized clothes had a double meaning-- also symbolizing our nation's leading proponent of 'choice' as a man grown 'too big for his britches...'

Finally I remembered Michael Landon who played America’s favorite father on “Little House on the Prairie” as well as an angel on “Highway to Heaven.” Fans of “Little House” will remember that Michael Landon called his daughter (Melissa Gilbert) ‘half-pint’... I looked it up out of curiosity to see what I might find and discovered for the first time that Melissa Gilbert was adopted... after her mother, as well, made a difficult but courageous choice... and graced the world with another ‘half-pint’ grown to the height of the stars... by simply allowing LIFE...